Holding On For Dear Life

So many times it feels like this is my existence –

Holding on for dear life.

I trust the reality of Christ by His mercy for my life,

to hold me together

more than even I think possible sometimes.

But it seems like so much of my time and energy is spent

just trying to survive that I have no energy or message left to give.

So the question begs an answer.

When I can stop merely "holding on for dear life"

and start "holding out dear life"

for others to hold on to?

And I so want to give...at least in the good moments. 

I cherish the treasure that God has placed in the very earthly vessel who is me. 

A vessel prone to break. 

And I fear sometimes that what will spill will be my flesh...

my weakness, my incongruities and questions,

rather than the life-giving treasure of a heart that actually does trust Jesus to go on.

But I think that somehow - and I pray God shows me how –

that even broken vessels can hold out the dear life to those who don't know our Life-Giver.

And maybe our brokenness makes the dear life even more real

than our got-it-togetherness.

Because nothing can take that dear life away…

even when or maybe especially when it is a broken life…

poured out unto the One we not only hold onto,

but Who, more importantly, holds onto us.

And maybe those of us who found out that we couldn’t hold on any longer,

and discovered that still God never let go,

can offer hope,

however tentatively,

however faintly,

and with fragile hearts,

that are founded on the never-failing strength of the love of God,

a love that never fails.