God is able to use my weakness to create strength in those I love.

Sometimes I feel like I’m failing.  I think if you read much of what I write you will notice that tendency.  What you might not know is that sometimes I’m okay with exposing that feeling, because I know that God works in my weakness.  I know it’s Him because I know I couldn't have managed it myself. 

 I also believe that God can and does use my weakness to create strength in those I love.  There are times when lies  come out of my mouth before I realize that I even have succumbed to believing them.  If my daughter is in hearing distance, she is quick to point out that it isn't true.  She has learned to identify the lie and replace it with truth.  This is a great lesson to learn as a teenager.  So I’m glad not to hide from my kids and pretend I have it all together.  Does it make them insecure?  I don’t know really.  What I do know is that I try to point them back to God even when I’m weak and train them that God is the one who will help us through. 

I sometimes identify for them why I’m afraid, why we don't need to be afraid, and how God is able to help us through our fears.  It’s not bad to teach this way…in real life, with real examples, and sometimes when it’s only faith on which we are leaning.  I also celebrate my little successes with them when I actually move out of my comfort zone and act brave for just a minute…because every small brave step can be followed by another.  If they see me weak but trying to continue to follow Jesus as best I can, then I think they can also learn to be brave. 

All of this being not-all-together is worth exposing.  Being all together and in control and successful is not the example I want to show my kids or even others when it comes right down to it.  I would rather show them that I love Jesus and He is worth everything… that life is hard and sometimes I fall and sometimes I don’t know how to trust but I have learned that He’s trustworthy... that I will trust even if I weep some days because of my lack of faith or confusion about circumstances.  I will trust and obey Him when I feel so unqualified to do what is before me.  I have also learned to be okay that some things just are not my strengths and that God sometimes stretches and empowers me even when they are not. 

If showing that I’m weak allows others to see and trust and live out the strength that God is able and willing to provide – that deep strength that lives in me in the midst of my weak flesh – then loved ones around me might be strengthened in their knowledge that God can be strong in them as well.  They learn this lesson, rather than feeling like they are the only ones who are weak and don’t have it all together.  If we’re brave, we admit this to the world around us and walk on courageously, following Jesus as best we can.