God Loves My Children More Than I Do

I’m thankful that I learned this truth early on in my parenting years, and I’m even more grateful as my children are passing through the teen years and on into young adulthood.  In the early years, it gets confusing when various and opposing “Christian” philosophies about parenting are swirling around among young mothers.  Loving Christian people are gathering to encourage some and scorning others for the way they parent and the books they read and it’s difficult to know if you’re doing the right thing.

In the meantime, you are sleep deprived and sometimes food and shower deprived.  You are certainly deprived of much time to reflect and look at the subject objectively.  The difficult thing is that you want so desperately for someone to help you navigate the waters of this journey because it is your most important endeavor and you don’t want to mess it up.  The voices you hear, however, are conflicting.  At least that was the way it was for me.  I read one book and other young moms read another.  I also really liked and trusted some of the moms that read the other book. 

I am thankful for the grace that gave me the courage to look at the other book.  I valued these other moms and respected their relationship with God enough not to dismiss them altogether.  This is how I found out that these two parenting styles were in direct opposition to one another and both claimed to be Biblical parenting.  This is also how I found out that I was going to fail at parenting.  I always suspected it but now I knew for sure.  You see, if I followed the biblical guidelines laid forth in one book, I would act in complete opposition to the other book and therefore, ruin my children. The same thing would be true if I switched books. 

So this is when I realized that I was going to do it "wrong".  I don’t mean to say that I was purposing to do it wrong.  However, I was going to have to seek God and go with my gut about what to do with these gifts that He gave to me.  This is also when I realized that God created them and loves them enough to have sent Jesus to die for them too, and so He would heal them from the mistakes that I would make.  Some people have sweet lullabies to sing to their little ones.  I sang these words, often in tears...

“I know a place, a wonderful place, where accused and condemned find mercy and grace,

Where the wrongs we have done and the wrongs done to us,

Were nailed there with Him, there on the cross…”

I learned then that I was going to do it wrong because I couldn't get it all right, but that I could come to the cross and grace is available to me to cover wrongs I would do in my parenting and the same grace would be available to my children to bring healing to the wrongs that I did to them.  So this is how I came to know that God loves these little ones far more than I ever could.  He loves me far more than I know and I can lean into that love and parent the very best way I can and say I’m sorry often and start and re-do as many times as I need to. 

In truth, my very best parenting advice is to realize that you are going to do it wrong.  Stay close to Jesus, keep going back to Him when you blow it. God is equipping your young ones for the things in life that they will live through.  I truly believe that God works through us to help our children to become who He wants them to be, and I believe that He even uses our failures to do it.  God molded and shaped me through the good and the bad things of my life. He will do the same for my kids, even if I’m part of the problem. 

It may not sound like the most encouraging advice, but it comes to this point.  Keep walking on and loving the best way you can as you learn what love looks like.  Let your kids know that God loves them the most of all - far more than mom or dad or grandma or grandpa.  The amazing love and grace of God is enough and you can relax a bit when conflicting philosophies come through your hands.  Gather up truth and allow the chaff to blow away.  Being uptight about always doing just the right thing isn't what is needful.  Staying close to Jesus and loving Him and His precious ones that He gave to your care is what is needful.