Wondering About Confidence

(this is supposed to be for Wondering Wednesday...but I'm a day late!)

I'm wondering about Job and of David and their confidence.  Job was struck with all sorts of disaster.  David gets chosen to be the future king and does everything in his power to honor the present king and gets javelins thrown at him and then has to run for his life.  Both of these experienced some bad stuff but both came boldly before God.  Job seemed to just be entrusting himself to God when his friends seemed to be trying to find his secret sins.  David was crying out for deliverance from his attackers most of the time.  The thread that connects them in this confidence before God. 

I guess it perplexes me because in my identity is the thought that I am nothing without Christ.  I am keenly aware of my shortcomings.  I know that all that I offer is as filthy rags to the King because there is always better and more perfect than me and if I waited until I had something close to perfect, I would never offer anything.  So I bring offer my talents and my gifts and my life as it is, imperfections included.  I reckon it's better than no offering at all. 

Since this is an integral part of who I see myself to be, it is difficult to be so confident.  I am not blameless as these men claim.  By the way, as far as I can tell they were not necessarily blameless either.  The scripture also says that no one is without sin anyway.  So, what gives them this confidence?  Scriptures do say to come boldly to the throne of grace.  What allows for this boldness?  I figure the right answer is the blood of Christ who covers us and brings about our righteousness.  Christ paid the penalty and because I belong to Him, I have the "right" to call on God to protect me and answer my cry.  I still struggle with this though.  How can I be so confident when I don't know His will for sure in this situation?  It's perplexing.

This reading through the Bible is a bit overwhelming sometimes.  Writing is difficult because I read through so much from week to week.  It is beautiful to see the big picture and it is my hope that I will know the story better as the years go by because I have read it so much.  I want to study some, but I want to read more.  I want to hear the Holy Spirit whisper to me in the midst of the pages.  I want the truths of God's character to seep in the capillaries of my being.  I want to know God more than I want to know His word.  I think that is part of the shift in reading this way.  Of course, there are times when it feels more like studying the word - or getting through it - than really engaging, but overall, it's good. 

I'm thinking that, perhaps, coming to know God is what allows for the confidence.  I'm not confident in me or in my blamelessness.  Rather, I'm confident in the character of God, especially as I grow to know Him more.  I'm confident that He will never waver. Neither His compassion nor His justice will fail.  I confidently come to Him and ask for help and forgiveness and guidance, not on the basis of my integrity, but on the basis of His holiness.  I once heard holiness described as God perfectly being everything He is at all times.  He never ceases to be just so He can show compassion.  He never ceases to be love in order to enforce justice.  So my confidence rests in God alone.  I know because I belong to Him, He will see me through.  For the sake of His great name, He will act.  His actions will bring me to my knees in repentance or will raise me up when I'm down.  He will never fail.  This is where confidence comes. 

Perhaps, I will yet learn the confidence of Job and David.  Maybe it will come when I'm more in touch with the faithfulness of God than with my own unfaithfulness.