Proverbs
13:7 "There is one who pretends to be rich,
but has nothing ; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth."
If only we
could rid ourselves of pretense. It is
so hard to rightly assess our poverty and riches. I am both parts of this equation at once. I am truly rich in ways I act like I'm poor
and suffer from poverty in ways that I act like I'm rich.
Here is
where I read how rich I really am -
God and
of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to
us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence."
I certainly
don't act like this is true much of the time.
I don't feel like it's true, but that doesn't change the truth of it. So
I am rich but pretending to be poor. What
would like look like if I could grasp and live out of the riches that are mine?
On the
other hand, I find myself in a situation where I feel somehow superior. I start
to act rich, when I'm really poor. It
may be that I have experience in an area and I feel like I have something
important to say or contribute. Maybe I
do, but maybe I need to listen first.
Maybe my knowledge is old, or maybe there is more to the people around
me than I know.
Yes, there is always more to the people
around me than I know.
When I
watch the video of when my first born was getting ready to come home from the
hospital, it strikes me most that I acted like I knew so much. My facial
expression look so "superior". I had read books and talked to moms
and I thought I knew. I don't have video
of the nights when I wept because I didn't know what I was doing just a few
weeks later. (thankfully!) I thought I
was rich and I really wasn't. I acted
like it - but it wasn't true.
Humility was needed and God was faithful to
provide.
I want to
be able to be free to live out of the true place where I am. I want to see my
poverty and my riches and live from an authentic place. I need God so much and I need a community of
believers to walk with. I also have been
given wisdom and life experiences that will encourage those with whom I walk
and I need to freely share them. He
really has given me all I need.
Now, to
live from the reality rather than the pretense.
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